They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
