It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
