just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
