I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
