marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Green mimosas i think yes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
