Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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