We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
where are you?
Hypothermia
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
