Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
