you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
