A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
