I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
