forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
