Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
