dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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