HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
