No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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