I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
