You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i think my mom watched the whole time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
