ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
