I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
