Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
