She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have aggressive nipples.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
