i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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