Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
