What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
