this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
