Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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