Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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