After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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