Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
