The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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