but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
