I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
