got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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