pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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