Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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