i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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