I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
