i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
