i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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