Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
