and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
