I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
