if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
