i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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