God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
