just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
