We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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