The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
