I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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