I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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