I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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