The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
