don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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